Everyday Life · Everything Marriage · Everything Wedding · expat life · Personal

State of the Marriage: First Anniversary Edition

This is it! We made it!

Anniversary time! High five to the dude!

I’m writing this because I want to document my state of mind at this moment that we’re celebrating a milestone. So yes, I agree that celebrating a full year that passed is a milestone. But at the same time I feel that it’s anticlimactic because nothing feels different. It’s similar to celebrating a birthday. You don’t suddenly feel older today than you were yesterday simply because it’s your birthday. There’s no major shift that occurs. This is not to say that marriage is boring. Far from it. It’s just that the love and affection have been there before and they’re still there now. The thing I like most about being married is having someone to go through life with, who is just as committed to you as you are to them.

Here are some of the things that marked the first year of our marriage:

  • We first navigated our married life in the company of extended family. During this time, we were less like husband and wife, more like son and daughter-in-law, brother and sister-in-law, by virtue of our relationships with those who surrounded us.
  • I had to figure out how to be a non-Nepali wife in a Nepali household, and Scott had to figure out how to be a husband to a foreign wife.
  • Then we uprooted our lives, left everyone and everything who is dear and familiar to us, and moved to another country. This was not an easy thing to do, but it’s definitely easier with someone by your side.
  • We fell into routines. We take a stroll around the neighborhood after dinner. We go to the library on weekends. We watch Criminal Minds on Netflix. We share earphones and listen to the Modern Love podcast. We drink tea before going to bed.
  • We made friends. Before marriage, my friends were mine, his friends were his, with a few exceptions. Now we have more common friends.

During this time, my parents also visited us. I am very thankful for this opportunity for them to witness our married life. When we talk over Skype and they ask how I’m doing, I always say I’m doing good. I’m certain that my parents are not worried, but I think they wonder about what our life looked like. Now they know our dynamics as husband and wife, where we work, where we buy our groceries, etc. They’ve always known how I am as a daughter and a sister, and now the know how I am as a wife. It’s nice to know that they saw this new side of me just as I was discovering it myself. Of course this also means that they saw how Scott related to me as a husband, and that he’s good to me, and that we’re okay. More than okay, actually. We’re doing great! 🙂

I’m excited for you, Year 2!!!

anda-both

 

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